COOKING INSTANT NOODLES (NO SOUP)

Welcome to noodles 101, where we cover the basics in such a complete way that most of you will find this extremely patronising.

'The basics? But they're just instant noodles, aren't the basics completely obvious?' You ask. Ah young grasshopper, with questions such as these you truly have much to learn about instant noodle mastery.

Perfect instant noodles are as much an art as they are a delicacy, master the basics we outline here and you will be on your way to making such art masterpieces.

Basic soups are admittedly easy enough, heat a suitable amount of water, add noodles and sachet, wait 3 minutes, pour in bowl.

But today let's say you've brought your mee goreng noodles and you don't want them soupy. I mean, who would? Here's how to cook them perfectly every time, making sure you get all the flavour from the sachet:

- Pour very little water into the pan you'll be cooking in, less than 200ml; so that when you put the noodles down flat in the pan, the water should come about half way up the noodles.

- Put the pan with the water on high heat and pour the sachet's contents into the water.

- Once the water boils, add the noodles. As we said the water will only come half way up the noodles. So leave for 30 seconds, then flip the noodles and leave for another 30 seconds.

- At this point the noodles should be soft and will break apart. Stir them up so that all the noodles are now under the water level.

- It will look now like there isn't much water in the pan, but only If the noodles are starting to stick to the pan should you add a little more water. Leave on high heat, stirring it round.

- When the water has all evaporated, the noodles should be ready, if you'd like them a little softer, add a tiny bit more water and continue stirring.

The advantage of the above technique:
By using little water at the beginning, you won't have to drain the noodles at the end, which loses flavouring from the sachet. With this method, the noodles will cook in concentrated flavouring, thus will pick up all the flavour from the sachet.

This method also gives you perfect control of how soft you have the noodles, and how much additional gravy you have in your dish; You can serve it dry, or a bit sloppy. Just choose to add water at the end or not.

Now you might be thinking a 6 step guide to cooking instant noodles is the most anal thing you've ever seen. And yes, you might be right. But... This is 'INSTANT NOODLE MASTERS' people, you know, it's not 'guys who make instant noodles like a little pansy douchebag'. We do this shit right around here. Also this method ends up being even quicker, and is less hassle once you can do it, and at the end of the day... is that not what instant noodles are all about?

Yes. It is.